Life as single and childfree woman: expectations VS reality
Or the war of stereotypes
Have you ever noticed it? Sometimes, when we try to erase a negative stereotype (and rightfully so!), we end up creating another one. It’s made in good faith, but it still gives an unrealistic depiction of a certain group, situation etc.
We are no exception. Many things have been said and taken for granted about us poor, lonely and unhappy childless women. How many times have we been represented as eccentric old ladies, surrounded by cats, perhaps with a tragic love story in our past that justifies our present condition? A little witchy, a little crazy. You know what I mean.
Lately, the narrative has changed and perhaps, unintentionally, it has created a few wrong expectations. I’m quite sure Sex and the City didn't help in this regard.
Expectations
If life were a movie produced in the last 15/20 years, we would all do yoga. Or jogging. Or yoga and jogging since apparently we have a lot of free time.
We would wear an empowering Armani suit to go to work, and of course we would earn enough to buy a new pair of the most badass stilettos around every week.
We would spend our Friday nights in an exclusive club, surrounded by our trusted friends, flirting with wonderful men and then sleeping with them. In the morning, we would be the ones to leave while they are still asleep.
Our Sunday mornings would be dedicated to the most exclusive vernissage in town and we'd spend the afternoons in a bathtub filled with rose petals, seeping Moet at Chandon from a crystal goblet bigger than our own face. Oh, and the candles. Let's not forget the scented candles to set the mood.
We would still have a cat, though. A beautiful long-haired cat with a tail like a musketeer's hat feather.
At the end of the movie, we would probably still be childless, but given how every single woman’s life goal has to be marriage, we would have nabbed the most eligible bachelor around and set off with him to the Maldives.
Reality
A short premise. I'm not so self-centered to think that my own lifestyle sets the standard, but through the years I met several women like me, and I noticed tons of similarities. This makes me think that my, or rather our, lifestyle is closer to reality than the previous one. I'm not implying that one is more valid than the other by the way, it's just that when I look around I see what I see.
I don't do yoga, I don't jog. I have a treadmill at home, but more often than not I use it as a coat hanger. Yes, I’m lazy, but I also have to work, to do chores, to help my old dad and so on.
I work remotely, I wear overalls and slippers, I don't buy stilettos because I've always lacked that panther stride needed to wear them in style. It's a shame, because I love them. And as for Armani, I like Gucci better.
My Friday nights can surely be boring. Most of my trusted friends have become parents. If I want to see them I need to go where the children play. Sometimes we still go out for a pizza. Sometimes.
My Sundays are equally shared between family lunches, urban trekking or absolute laziness. I go to vernissages, also because I am a painter, but they are not that frequent. The last time I took a bath was at the end of one of the most stressful periods of my life. My back decided to make me pay right then, so my mom had to come and fish me out of the tub. Since then, it has always been just showers. Also, I'm mostly a beer girl.
Unfortunately, I don't have a cat. I would really like to adopt one or ten, but for now I want to be free to travel and since I barely have the money for a hostel, I don't think I can also afford a cat sitter. Being an old cat lady is definitely part of my retirement plan, though.
I haven't caught any eligible bachelor. I'm just not really interested in the article, but I would happily take a trip to the Maldives.
And you? What’s your style?